Perhaps we all have a pretty clear idea of what we want to improve in our life, such
as becoming more assertive or starting our own business, and all of us at some point of time must have begun to take a
good look at the available options.
You may have already formulated a plan but
has somehow never really gotten around to carrying it through.
Over time procrastination sets in, we think of reasons not to
begin and become more discouraged along the way. We think we just don’t have the time to get the plan set into action and we have too
many other things to do first.
What actually happens?
"It all comes down to beliefs. "
Understanding how our beliefs shape up
An individual can lack resources and their future plans can be little more than a few
random scribbles on the back of an envelope, yet if their motivation is right and they
really believe they can accomplish what they want to do, their plans can blossom. History
is full of men and women who defied the odds and overcame seemingly immovable
obstacles to reach their goals. These people all had one thing in common; an unshakable
belief that they were exactly the right person at exactly the right moment in time to
achieve whatever they set out to do, whether scaling an impossible mountain or winning
a marathon.
Belief is simply a feeling of conviction about something, specifically
about one self, and strong positive beliefs are the foundation for action. Holding negative
beliefs or ones that no longer serve you well, has the opposite effect and keeps you stuck.
Your inner critic specialises in these destructive beliefs and can produce them at the drop
of a hat.
Where do Beliefs come from?
Some of the beliefs we hold go right back to childhood. When we were very young we
genuinely held the acceptance that our parents knew the answer to everything.
Beliefs
learned or ‘given to us’ in childhood can be very powerful indeed, and if negative, they
can really hold us back from seeing and fulfilling our true potential.
The beliefs that hold someone back are no truer than the beliefs that spur someone into
positive action, so why not choose to focus on the beliefs that get you the great results
you want?
What are your Beliefs?
Many of our convictions are so much a part of us that we rarely have a good objective
look at them. A quick glance isn’t always enough, because at face value all of our
acceptances may look perfectly reasonable. Building a strong positive belief system starts
with dusting off each one of those beliefs and taking the time to truly examine them.
Only then can you decide which beliefs are still necessary for you to hold on to and
which ones are out-dated and no longer valid with your current way of thinking.
What do our Beliefs give us?
All the beliefs you hold are likely to feel very real to you. Even negative and destructive
beliefs exist for a reason. At some point you have gathered evidence that supports
everything you believe.Our most limiting beliefs about ourselves may get in the way of any action we need to
take. But many of us are surprisingly attached to our misconceptions and are reluctant to
let them go.
Your limiting conclusions have a function, but a very limited one. Your empowering
acceptances on the other hand, serve you far better by helping you to expand the range of
what is possible in your world.
Reshaping limiting Beliefs
Sometimes, simply by recognizing a limiting belief, you take away its power.
Can you simply decide in an instant that you no longer hold a limiting belief, even if it
feels that you’re playing mind games with yourself? Yes, absolutely.
You can replace a limiting belief through regularly repeating affirmations and mantras;
powerful and positive present-centred statements that help to change your thinking
patterns. Your brain believes
what you tell it.
New research suggests that you need
to do something 15 times before it becomes a part of you. Other research suggests that
you must repeat something up to 30 days consecutively to develop a new habit. Either
way, practice is the key to developing a new belief system.
Managing Fears
All limiting beliefs stem from some kind of fear. Strange as it sounds fear is often a good
thing. The physical symptoms you get when you are scared are exactly the same ones that
accompany extreme excitement. Compare the butterflies in your stomach before you’re
about to speak before a group of people with the butterflies you get when you meet the person of your dreams on a date.
Fear gets in the way when you allow it to stop you from taking action and achieving
things.
Procrastination is often a mask for fear. Maybe you are putting off doing something
because you are afraid to fail, or afraid to succeed, or afraid that you may be embarrassed
or be rejected. Simply realising this fear can help you deal with your procrastination.
Fear can be a friend. Fear of a certain outcome can allow you the necessary leverage to
take action. For some people, imagining the shame of failure helps them to perform better
than they ever thought possible. If you are prone to move away from what you don’t want
more than to move towards what you do want, then you are using fear to spur yourself
into action.
Conquering Fear of Failure means embracing some or all of the following new beliefs.
- Failure is simply part of the discovery process and success comes from being willing to gain knowledge.
- I am always good enough, even when the things that I do don’t work.
- I always succeed when I try my best with good intention.
- Avoiding failure means closing myself off to new possibilities that I may never otherwise experience or know.
Sometimes we avoid activities or things because we don’t want to look silly or exposed.
We learn from childhood that not everything we do is universally applauded and we are
made to feel foolish instead of creative and innovative. Feelings surrounding the fear of embarrassment
can be addressed with the following self-talk.
- Everyone admires someone who has the courage to say what they think, even if they don’t agree with it.
- What is the worst that can happen? If I make a fool of myself it breaks the ice and people warm to me.
