Build a Healthy Ritual of Self- Discipline

We waste our lives with a lack of self-discipline.

Self-discipline is a skill. It is the ability to focus and overcome distractions. It involves acting according to what you know is right instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy). It typically requires sacrificing immediate pleasure and excitement for what matters most in life.

A lack of self-discipline for most of us is often the result of a lack of focus. In other words, we tell ourselves we are going to work on something, but then we don’t. When this happens to me, first and foremost, I forgive myself for messing up, and then I strive to be mindful about what’s really going on. Am I procrastinating for some reason? Am I distracted? Instead of telling myself that I’m “bad” or “undisciplined,” I try to productively uncover a more specific, solvable problem, and then address it.

But…

What do you do if your life is in complete disarray, you have hardly any self-discipline or consistent routines, can’t stick to anything, procrastinate constantly, and feel completely out of control?

How do you get started with building a healthy ritual of self-discipline when you have so many changes to make?

You start small. Very small.

If you don’t know where to start, let me suggest that you start by simply washing your dishes. Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes. It’s just one small step forward: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.

Form this ritual one dish at a time, one day at a time. Once you do this consistently for a couple weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off. Then start doing a few sit-ups every morning. Eat a few vegetables for dinner. And so forth. I have example of people who do this religiously and i can assure you how beautifully they have grown in Life...

Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy ritual of self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done… and finishing what you start.

Let's cut to the chase...

What we truly need to do is often what we most feel like avoiding. This is a harsh reality.

But... If we don’t go after what we want, we will never get it. If we don’t ask the right questions, we will always get the wrong answers. If we don’t take a step forward, we are always going to be standing in the same exact place.

Life is a journey comprised of small steps. The key is to take these steps, every single day.

We know this already, right?

Yet how often are we stuck in a cycle of worry, fear, and other forms of over-thinking? How often are we aimlessly distracted? And how often do we procrastinate?

After consistently working on my mindfulness and time management habits, I’ve become reasonably proficient at getting things done with minimal distraction and procrastination.

How Well You Know Self !!!

Self-awareness is having a high degree of knowledge about yourself. It’s awareness of your habits, emotional tendencies, needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. Having a high level of self-awareness is a powerful tool. It allows you to change your life more effectively, since you know how you tick. Those that lack self-awareness find life to be frustrating.

1. Notice your thoughts. Unless you’ve been meditating for years, your mind is constantly churning through ideas and endlessly providing commentary. You can’t just look at a tree and admire it, your mind has to comment, “That’s a beautiful tree.” Then it’s off to the races.

· Notice your thinking patterns. What are you thinking when you’re feeling nervous? Bored? Interested? Walking down the street? Notice that similar situations result in similar thought patterns. 

· Do you judge people and situations? Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the past or the future? Do you expect the worst to happen or the best? Or do you adopt an attitude of, “Let’s just see what happens”?

2. Notice your feelings. What are you feeling throughout the day? What do you feel while you’re eating? Driving to work? Lying in bed? Waiting in line?

· Once you’ve notice your emotion, question it. What am I feeling? Why? What do I need right now? How do I normally react in this situation? Is that smart?

3. Understand how you deal with frustration or emotional discomfort. A huge chunk of your time is spent trying to make yourself feel better. If you feel slightly frustrated or uncomfortable, then you may spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to change the situation or the others around you to resolve those negative feelings.

· Do you try to control others? Do you attempt to distract yourself? Is your first instinct to leave the situation? Do you surf the internet or eat a big bowl of ice cream?

4. Examine your friendships. Where do you find your friends? Are most of your friendships long-term or short? When your friendships end, what is the common cause? What types of people do you prefer to be friends with? What types of people do you avoid?

5. Examine your intimate relationships. Do you see a pattern in the type of people that you’ve been involved with? What are the negative characteristics they all share? Why do you think those people appealed to you?

· What were your shortcomings in your relationships? Are you clingy? Jealous? Too focused on work? Failed to communicate your needs? Think about how you contributed to the failure of your relationships. 

· Have you changed your approach from relationship to relationship, or do you continue to repeat your mistakes?

6. Keep a journal. There’s no better way to learn about yourself than to record your thoughts, feelings, and experiences each day. Studies have shown that we don’t remember our past very accurately, so record it while it’s still fresh in your mind. Be sure to include your high and low points for the day. 

· Note how well you ate and slept, too. You might find some useful information. 

· Create a habit of writing in your journal for at least 15 minutes each day. You’ll start to notice patterns and learn a lot about yourself.

Understanding yourself might be the most important piece of your self-development puzzle. If you don’t understand yourself, it’s difficult to apply all the great information available today. Maintain an awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Examine and question them. You’ll be surprised by what you find.

Holistic Wellness - Lets Try & Understand !!

Wellness. It's a simple word that has crept into our every day vocabulary in the last few years, yet it seems very difficult to define.

Physical Fitness. Does the person have the energy necessary to do all the things he or she has to do, while having enough energy left over to do the things he or she wants to do? Can the person use the body the way he or she wants? Does the person view illness and disease as feedback from the body that something needs attention? And does the person actually follow through and do something immediately when it is clear that there is a problem? Does the person look at cardiovascular health, muscular strength and endurance, flexibility, and body composition? Does the person know his or her own body and do everything possible to stay healthy? 

Healthy Eating. Does the person get a balance of foods? Does the person watch portion control? Does the person eat regularly throughout the day? Does the person get plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, organic and local when possible? Does the person think about getting enough carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins, minerals, and water? Does the person try to eat natural, unprocessed foods and limit sweets, artificial sweeteners and colorings, and saturated fats? Does the person eat breakfast? 

Emotional Wellness. Does the person recognize emotions as feedback from the mind as to its current condition? Can the person identify emotions and use them to make changes in life? Can the person process emotions and communicate them appropriately when necessary? Can she or he seek out appropriate professional help when things get out of hand? Does the person have and cultivate healthy self-esteem? 

Intellectual Wellness. Does the person do activities regularly to stimulate the mind? Does the person have enough in her or his life to feel challenged but not overwhelmed? 

Social Wellness and Sexuality. Does the person have healthy give and take relationships in his or her life? Does the person have someone who loves him or her unconditionally? Can the person have fun regularly? Is the person aware of his or her sexual nature?Does the person feel in control of his or her social and sexual interactions? 

Sleep and Rest. Although these are lumped together, they are very different. Humans need fair amounts of each. Does the person get enough sleep (6-8 hours for most people, but everyone has a different natural need)? Is the quality of the sleep good? Does the person feel rested during the day without taking naps? Does the person remember and look at dreams as another feedback mechanism from the mind? Does the person get rest--down time of specifically doing nothing--without guilt? 

Good Hygiene and Safety Habits. Does the person clean and bathe regularly? Does the person get check-ups from medical doctors, dentists, and eye doctors? Does he or she regularly give self-exams of the skin and genitals? Does she or he wear a seatbelt and drive carefully, following all laws and recommendations? Brush--and floss--the teeth? 

Spiritual Wellness. Does the person have a spiritual belief system that works for him or her, regardless of religious affilitation? Does he or she feel like a part of something bigger--something meaningful? Does the person practice prayer or meditation or some other spiritual practice regularly? 

Career and Financial Wellness. Does the person have a career that he or she is comfortable with, that allows him or her to meet all financial responsibilities without causing stress? Is that career in line with his or her interests, values, beliefs? Does he or she feel like that career is meaningful, and does he or she feel like part of a successful team where his or her personal work is valued and rewarded? Does he or she have a long-term financial plan? 

Environmental Wellness. Does the person consider practices that reduce, reuse, and recycle? Does the person try to minimize his or her own and community impact on the environment? Does he or she recognize also the state of the environment as feedback from the earth, and do everything is his or her power to help save the earth? Does he or she also avoid environmental hazards by learning what they are and practicing good safety habits? 

Motivation. Some say that motivation is the foundation of the wellness model. Does this person want to be healthy and well? This sounds like a no-brainer, but most people's actions in some way are not actually in line with their desires. Without the focused attention on being well, it is only coincidental if people are, and a matter of time before they become un-well. 

Holistic Wellness is about looking at one's whole life, not just a piece of it, and not just when things are going wrong. Wellness is proactive instead of reactive. Wellness is a state of existence that isn't negative or positive--it just is. It isn't about being perfect or depriving yourself of enjoyment. In fact, it is more like the opposite--by doing healthy things, you feel good about yourself. You only feel pleasure from your body--not pain. When you feel anything but pleasure from your body, you do something about it to change that. You feel and express gratitude, and you enjoy life, even when it isn't just the way you like it. And most importantly, you recognize that you have the ability to make changes in your life. You can replace feelings of disappointment, sadness, fear, and stuckness with joy. 

Regardless of how you choose to define it, wellness is within the reach of every person alive. It is a choice we make every day...do our actions show that we want to be well, or do we actually focus on being un-well? Do we sit around and talk about how bad we are, or do we find simple things within our reach that we can do to improve our quality of life? Do we look at hope and faith, or do we secretly enjoy feeling doom? 

The choice is yours...be well!

Why Waiting for the Right Moment is Often a Mistake !!!

Are you waiting for the perfect time to launch your grand plan? We don’t like to wait in line, but we’re more than content to wait for some other things. Diets are commonly started on a Monday, or the first of the month, or the first of the year. It’s rare that someone chooses to start a diet right this very minute. 

The same mindset applies to starting a business, going back to school, learning to play guitar, writing a book, or having a difficult conversation. We believe that challenging objectives require optimal conditions.

But all that’s really required is the courage to get started. Waiting is often an excuse when we feel fearful or uncertain.

The idea that perfect conditions are necessary is flawed:

1. Life is much too short. Eventually, we all run out of time. No one can wait forever. That doesn’t mean to be impulsive and throw all caution to the wind. It does mean, however, that it would benefit you to act soon. 

2. Life will always get in the way. Waiting for the right moment is like saving the money you have left over at the end of the month. You’ll never have any time to spare, just as you’ll never have any money left over.

Make time for the important things you want to do or accomplish. The longer you wait, the harder it can be to get started.

3. Waiting is passive. Each day is filled with unique moments. It’s not necessary to wait until the perfect storm of opportunity, convenience, and motivation finally occurs. You can create special moments whenever you choose. Plenty of good moments are happening each day, but you’re failing to make the most of them. 

4. You don’t learn anything while you’re waiting. You’re not enhancing your skills or gaining any experience when you’re inactive. Make the most of right now and you’ll be better prepared for the future. 

5. Avoid regret. Do you really have the time to spare? Those that wait too long are filled with regret at the end of life. Do you want to look back on your life and think, “If only I would have …”

Few things are worse than regret, especially when you’re no longer in the position to do anything about it. You might still be able to climb a mountain or learn to play the piano at the age of 80, but it might be easier when you’re 45. You’ll also have more time to enjoy it! 

6. Taking action results in a more exciting and fulfilled life. Taking action and failing is better than doing nothing at all. Even in failure, you’re learning, taking risks, and living life to the fullest. You’re better prepared for the future and gain a new perspective.

Make your life interesting and fulfilling by deciding that right now is a good enough time to get started. 

7. Waiting results in a lack of control. While you’re passively waiting for the perfect situation to occur, you’re giving away control of your life. One common symptom among those with depression is the belief that they lack control over their lives. Why wait? Take action now to create the life you want and take back your control.

Valuing yourself will result in valuing your time. When you value your time, you’ll begin to make the most of it. Every moment is important because you’re important. Avoid waiting any longer for the perfect moment to finally arrive. Get started today and create your own moments.....

Adjust your Attitude !!

It’s so easy to be negative when things go wrong, or blame others for negative outcomes in your life. But do negativity and blame change anything for the better?

No!

There is a real opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

No matter what the specifics of your troubled times are, taking a moment to look inward at what you could have done differently and how you could potentially avoid similar situations in the future can be a healthy exercise. This is not to blame yourself or shame yourself, but simply to give you the opportunity to learn, on a higher level, from your experiences.

The key is to realize that no matter what happens, you can choose your attitude and inner dialog, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – to train our minds to see the good in what we’ve got, even when it’s far less than we expected.

It’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?

You CAN always choose an attitude that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control.

Here's one powerful question that will support you with a positive attitude adjustment when you need it most:

Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed the thought that’s worrying you?

Think about it...

Identify a specific thought that’s been troubling your worried mind lately, and then visualize how your life would be different if you removed this thought:

How would it change your outlook on your present life situation?

What other possibilities would you see?

How would you feel?

How would you behave?

What else would you be able to accomplish with this shift in your focus?

And of course, if you're struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track.

What's Holding You Back ??

Avoid Being someone you are Not - twisting into someone other than yourself—is exhausting work. Remove yourself from any situation that requires you to give up any one of these three things: 1) Who you are. 2) What you stand for. 3) The goals you aspire to achieve.

By comparison you feel inadequate, incapable and discouraged.

Shift your focus instead to where you are today compared to yesterday to get a more accurate picture of the progress you’re making.

Strive to be real, open, and unpretentious, so people can be themselves around you and access the most energy. Generate that vigor by really getting to know the people we work with and finding out what’s important to them personally.

You’ll never see the great things ahead of you if you keep looking at the bad things behind you. You are exactly where you need to be to reach your goals. Everything you’ve been through was preparation for where you are right now and where you can be tomorrow.

Take a deep breath. It’s just a bad moment, or a bad day, not a bad life. Everyone has troubles. Everyone makes mistakes. The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.

We spend our time and energy wondering “if”—if what we’re doing is possible, if you’re good enough to achieve it, if it’s the right thing to do. Change these questions to how, who and what, such as, “How will I make this happen?” “What’s the first step?” “Who can help me with this?” and spend your energy finding answers that will help you move closer to success.

You want those you care about to approve. You create a story that their approval means you’re on the right path. You don’t want to disappoint. And so you end up stuck and paralysed by a flippant comment, or an unenthusiastic reaction.

Be patient, be persistent and give yourself a realistic timeline to achieve the results you want.

You make lists and beautiful plans. You re-write those plans and use the latest app to capture them a second time. You discuss your plans, visualize your plans, criticize your plans. You do everything but act on them. Your first step, as imperfect as it may be, will be much more useful than all the plans in the world.

The right time is now. Only by starting will you discover what else needs to be done or improved, never before.

When you start your project, you discover it’s a steep uphill struggle to get where you want. Anything you do will get easier the more you do it. Persistence and not talent is the secret to success, so stick to it.

List 3 things you’re struggling with right now. Next to each one list at least one person who’s experienced something similar. Write one question you would love to ask that person. Now reach out and ask.

If you had to let it go, what else could you do with your time? Sometimes it’s OK to let go.

Today's Attitude - Keep Your Attitude Up!

Life has brought even the best of us down to our knees sometimes.

I’ve fallen into a anxiety, stress and negativity in my life more than once. Looking back on these trying times, when I was struggling to keep every smile of mine Positive, I now appreciate just how powerful our minds can be.

Yesterday during one of my Coaching Session I just happen to gracefully shift the persons focus on What they Do Want from what they Don't Want.

I reminded the person that what you focus on grows stronger in your life, and that the best time to focus on the positive and take responsibility for your happiness is when you don’t feel like it. Because that’s when doing so can make the biggest difference.

It’s about thinking better so you can ultimately live better.

I myself have gone through a lot to understand and implement that the greatest weapon against negativity and stress is our ability to choose our Response - To train our minds to make the best of what we’ve got, even when it’s less than we expected.

Hold still for a Moment and Breathe Deep. Free your mind from all the chatter that’s going on inside your head and around you. This creates space for a change of state – for something new and positive to enter.

Yes we all have goals to achieve, loved ones to be contended time and again, fear and insecurities to overcome but unless you have refilled your Bucket with enough positivity, peaceful solitude and making time for recovery from the chaos of Life - its just a vicious cycle!

I have been put under this Lesson time and again by Life - Subconsciously Resisting Life! This creates tension - Mental and Physical both.

Where does this tension we feel come from? We’re resisting something – perhaps we’re annoyed by someone, frustrated at life, overwhelmed by all our obligations, or just bored. And our mental resistance creates a tension in our bodies and unhappiness in our lives. 

I am also on the learning path to Keep changing my Mode from one of struggle and resistance to one of peace and acceptance. 

Life lessons have taught me to choose to find Beauty even when it’s buried beneath problems and pain. I am working on Self to Open up to every situation and see the hidden Beauty in it. Trying itself gives you a lot of Peace of Mind.

Its a hard hit but i have learnt that Life always Begins Now...right Now ...so each day you can have have a fresh start - What it takes for this is lot of Patience!

Each day we are put through the pressures of proving ourselves to this world and this puts us under self doubt but i have learnt that beyond a point - Letting go, turning the page, moving forward is the Key.

It doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is that you leave the past where it belongs so you can make the best of the life that’s presently available to be lived. 

So be Humble - Know Yourself Better - The World will Keep Changing but you should know what you want out of Life - Take Total responsibility of your Attitude - That's the Day we Totally Grow Up!