My Son, My Miracle - My Strength !

There was a strong urge to share how Brave he has been in his Journey of Life ......

It was wee hours of the morning of 26th Nov 2009, when I was rushed to the hospital as my water broke but the toughest part to handle was the pre term delivery -- not by one or two weeks but I was early by more then two months!

Most of the mothers get to see their new born and cuddle them up in flesh as soon as they are born, but my babies were taken to Neo Natal care. Each day I used to ask my family when can I go and see my babies. 

It was on the third day when I was taken to meet my babies.When i entered the Neo Natal ward, I saw my cutie-pies on ventilator support, I had tears in my eyes and my heart stopped to beat - it was a sinking feeling!!!

The doctors told us that the babies are critical as they are preterm and each day is a going to be tough till they are off the Ventilator. If anyone knows about early babies or premature babies, will understand what I am talking about!

I was allowed to visit them twice in the day for few minutes. A beautiful bond slowly started to develop between me and my kids, the moment I used to enter the NICU their heartbeats used to go fast like they have sensed that their mother has come and it was such a Great feeling to see them breathing...

I used to ask the doctor when can i take my kids in my arms and hug my kids. There was a fear... the fear of losing ....

And then my fear came true - health of one of the twin started to deteriorate all of a sudden and we lost him to destiny.

I was devastated and I turned silent......silent as silence could be ...And I told life I am accepting the suffering ...But my only Hope down the road was this sweet little boy "Aryan".

Each day I used to hold his tiny fingers and tell him how important He is in my Life. In those few minutes i only used to pray and tell him how brave he is. He was just few weeks old but i feel he understood every word spoken to him.

He fought and came out strong and gained strength week after week. Then came the day when the doctor told me you can cuddle and feed him. I had the longest Smile on my face but still there was no news on when can he go home.

The first three months of Aryans Life were in NICU but with his little feet he made Big Strides every Single Day.

We got him home with immense happiness and it seemed that my World is Beautiful again but yet another Reality was waiting to hit me - my marriage was drifting apart and there was no way that i could let this kid suffer.

This new born who had gone through so much already needed "Love and Care" more then anything else in this world.

I could not keep him in the house where fear, anxiety, depression, fights, trauma, doubt, unhappiness, blames were living!!

He was bought in this World to Live a Beautiful Life and that's what he deserved then and now. This little one is the most co-operative, understanding kid, who is happy in everything and has never troubled me during my rough days.

He adapted in each and every situation with ease. Even though I got irritated with my life and found reasons to escape from life - His caring hugs and " I Love You Shilpa " always helped me to give a direction to my life.

It was just like any other day in 2013, when Aryan fell ill and when he was taken to the hospital, he was hospitalised immediately and we were told that He would have to be operated the very next day. It was the most traumatic experience for him & for me. I had to gather myself each day to stand in front of him and to give him the strength, energy and love that he needed to come out of this trauma.

Life has many ways of testing and sure it was testing Our "Strength, Endurance & Courage".

We both became stronger because we had to be. We became happier because of the sadness we've known.

Your child is what will keep you holding on, when everything else is falling apart. 

He made me Believe that we can do the Impossible because we have been through Unimaginable.

Cheers to Aryan who will always be the Miracle who Completes my Life. Wishing Him a Great Life Always.

Set Yourself Free - Be Authentic!

Authenticity is underrated. It’s more than being honest with the world. It’s about being honest with yourself. There are many advantages to being authentic. Most importantly, you’ll no longer feel the need to change your words and actions to impress others. You can relax and be yourself.

Before you can be authentic, it’s important to know yourself. This includes your values and goals. Authenticity becomes possible when you know what’s important to you.

Embrace authenticity and present yourself honestly:

1. Give up the need to appear perfect. Excellent is good enough. But seriously, when you don’t need to appear perfect, you’re in the position to be honest. No one can be perfect and honest at the same time. Avoid putting on a show for the rest of the world. You’ll only feel bad about yourself later.

It’s okay to be less than spectacular. Be the best at being yourself.

2. Know your values and live by them. If you know your values and live by them consistently, you’re already doing well in the authentic department.

Make a list of your values and determine the five that are most important to you. Are you living your life according to these values? Would it be obvious to others that you hold these values?

Decide to make your decisions based upon your values. Be willing to share your values with others.

3. Notice when you’re not being authentic. It’s not easy to be authentic all the time. You might find yourself transforming based on the situation. A first date is a good example. Are you being authentic or pretending to be someone you’re not?

Take note of those times your authenticity starts to wane

4. Know your goals. What do you want out of life? Do you know? Are you willing to let others know? By knowing your goals, you can you live your life accordingly.

5. What are your defining characteristics? Describe yourself honestly. Now ask yourself if a casual acquaintance would describe you the same way? How about someone that knows you well? How about your closest friend?

How many people know you well? If there aren’t many, ask yourself why. If you’re living authentically, it should be easy for someone to develop an accurate opinion of you.

What are your “negative” characteristics? Are you impatient or messy? Are you willing to allow others to see these characteristics or do you attempt to hide them?

6. Tell the truth. If you’re being authentic, why would you need to lie? This pertains especially to anything you say about yourself. Admit your mistakes, weaknesses, and frailties. Share your opinions honestly and freely.

7. Simplify your life. Get rid of everything that’s extraneous. What you choose to keep will be representative of your preferences and your true self. Find your true essence by stripping away the non-essential. Start with the clothes you never wear, the things you never use, and the activities you don’t enjoy. Only keep the things that mean the most to you.

8. Do what you say you’ll do. Keep your word and follow through on your promises. You’ll feel more congruent, and others will view you as more congruent. When your words and actions match, you’re demonstrating authenticity.

Life becomes easier when you’re living authentically. You’ll no longer feel the exhaustion that comes with constantly changing your opinions, attitudes, and personality to please others. You’ll no longer feel the need to protect yourself from others. Be authentic with your thoughts, words, and actions. Invest the time in yourself and learn to be free.

Picking up the pieces after Divorce

Most people understand the risks that marriage brings, but no one gets married with the expectation of dealing with divorce. Divorce ranks as one of the most stressful situations anyone can go through. Dealing with a divorce is no small matter. It requires patience and stamina. There are no shortcuts.

That doesn’t mean that the process of getting over a divorce requires a decade. How long it takes is largely up to you. There is a path out of your current pain. Time is an important part of that path.

These tips will help you move on after your divorce:

Give yourself time before dating again. How much time you require is an individual decision. But there’s no rush. When you begin dating before you’re ready, not only are you potentially creating additional challenges for yourself, but consider your dates, too! They might be getting more than they bargained for. Take the time you need to heal.

Take the opportunity to make over your life. Now might be the perfect time to join a wellness program, start a new hobby, or travel. When you’re married, you have to accommodate the needs and wishes of another person. You can give yourself more consideration for a change.

What would you like to change about yourself and your life?

Learn from your divorce. What went wrong? What did you learn? What were the good and bad qualities of your partner? What type of person would do you believe would be the best match for you? What mistakes did you make along the way?

A divorce is painful, but a great learning opportunity. You can have much more confidence in your next relationship if you use what you learn.

Forgive. You can’t truly move on until you’ve forgiven your ex-spouse. This may take time. But you’re never really free until you’re able to forgive.

Get the support you need. This might take the form of a friend or family member. There are also support groups for the newly divorced. Avoid the mistake of attempting to navigate your healing process alone.

Maintain your daily routines. This means to continue to bathe, brush your teeth, and so on each day. Continue to eat healthy meals. Go to bed at your normal time. Keep your normal social outings. It’s easy to fall into a slump and to allow the quality of your life to deteriorate. Some things will change, but many things can stay the same.

Avoid making your situation worse. This isn’t the time to overeat, drink excessively, or start using drugs. A rebound relationship also isn’t advised. Get your feet back on the ground and avoid doing anything that can make your challenging circumstances even harder.

Get out of the house. Not only can you keep your previous social schedule, you can consider adding to it. Join a yoga class or a golf league. Create something new that you can enjoy with others. You won’t find any solutions while you’re sitting on the couch, staring out the window.

Share your feelings with a divorced friend. It’s important to talk to someone who has had the same experience. Confide in someone that has successfully moved on from divorce.

Divorce is stressful and unsettling.You’re certainly not alone. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. In time, your life can be even better than it was before. Use this opportunity to reinvent yourself and your life.

Things to Start Doing for Yourself

Here it is a positive To Do List To Start for Yourself for the Upcoming Year:

Start Spending Time with the Right People : 

Who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.

Start facing your Problems Head on : 

Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can to solve the problem.

Start being Honest with Yourself about Everything:

Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.

Start making your Happiness a Priority:

Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.

Start Being Yourself " Genuinely & Proudly":

Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.

Start Noticing and Living in the Present: 

Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.

Start Valuing the lessons your mistakes teaches you:

Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.

Start Being Polite to yourself: 

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.

Start Enjoying the Things you Already Have:

Take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have. 

Start Creating your own Happiness:

Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.

Start Giving your Ideas & Dreams a Chance:

Either you succeed or you learn something. WinWin

Start Believing that your are Ready for the next Step:

Embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.

Start Giving new people you meet a chance:

Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

Start Forgiving:

It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

Start Helping and Cheering for other peoples Victories:

Care about people. Be happy for those who are making progress. 

Start Being Attentive to your Stress levels & Take Short Breaks:

Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose

Start Concentrating on the Things you can Control:

Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.

Start Focusing on the possibility of Positive Outcomes:
Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.

Start Noticing How Wealthy you are Right Now:
You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

Turning your Life Around - Sure follow the Key Strategies

I used the below strategies to begin turning my life around. I know everyone’s situation is different but if you adopt these strategies, I’m sure you will start seeing improvements in your life. 

Just remember that no matter how bad it may seem, you can always start over. I’m living proof of this.

Remove your Self Limiting Beliefs:

If you’re not familiar with self-limiting beliefs, tell me if any of these sound familiar to you:

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m such a failure.”

“Nobody wants to be with me.” 

“I don’t deserve better.”

If you’ve ever had any of these thoughts or something similar, then you know what self-limiting beliefs are.

All the negative things that we believe about ourselves are NOT true. Instead, these thoughts stem from some other sources.They are usually a result of some outside factor or external event.

In order to turn our life around, we have to overcome and remove these self-limiting beliefs.

I want you to write down all the things about yourself that you are proud of. These could be accomplishments, your personality traits, anything that makes you proud to be you.

Now,I want you to take a self-limiting belief you are struggling with,look at what you wrote about yourself, and ask yourself the following:

“Do I believe this to be true about myself?” 

Take your Own Advice:

Pretend your best friend is in the exact same situation that you’re in right now.He or she has the exact same challenges as you do and can’t seem to figure out what they need to do.Don’t think it in your head. Write it down so that it’s right in front of you and then take the advice you’ve given and apply it to yourself. 

Stop Worrying about what hasn't happened Yet:

Here’s the thing you need to understand about the future, it can always change.A bright future can turn bleak just as much as a bleak future can turn bright.It’s not constant nor definitive.Instead, what you should be focusing on is the present because your present heavily influences your future.That is something that you can control, and the sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be.Work on the challenges that you have today. Those are real, and they’re not going away anytime soon. Just remember that you are in control of today and what you choose to do today will dictate what tomorrow has in store for you.

Stop Victimizing yourself:

By blaming others, it made it easy for me to cope with reality.The problem with blaming others is that you don’t learn how to take action to solve your problems.Whatever the case may be, we always have to start with ourselves first even if we believe someone else is a part of the problem. We can only change what we control. We can’t change the things we can’t control.So how do we stop victimizing ourselves? Through forgiveness. 

When you forgive yourself and forgive others,it allows you to find peace in your heart. Once you have peace, it’s easier to take a personal analysis of your life and see what areas you can begin affecting change. 

Appreciate the things you have :

What I want you to do when you wake up everyday is to write down on a piece of paper one thing you are grateful for.Doesn’t matter how big or small it is, if it’s something that makes you happy, make sure you appreciate it and not the things you don’t have. Positive thinking is contagious.When you begin to introduce happy thoughts into your life, your body will naturally function better. Your mind will function better and you will start making better decisions. 

It’s the confidence of knowing you can always turn your life around and start over.

Be patient and understand that the journey begins with a single step. It’s a marathon and not a sprint. As long as you’re moving, you’ll get there, but the most important step is to start moving.