What Works for Me!

Its been long that I shared my thoughts, so today as I get back to work here are few thoughts that work for me:

Today is still a priceless gift (make the best of it). – I know that each one of those limited days is a gift, a blessing… a miracle. And so, I reminded myself this morning that this day counts and that I still need to make the best of it. That doesn’t mean I need to be hyper-productive or work myself into the ground, but that I should do something worthwhile. Sometimes taking a break to nourish yourself is a worthwhile activity, because doing so allows you to regroup and do other worthwhile things. 

That’s what I did this morning – I took the tiniest possible step. Just turning on my computer, opening up a document, and writing a single sentence. Such an action is so small as to seem insignificant, And it showed me the next step was possible, and the next.

Don’t neglect your authentic selves. – Make a big list of all the things that make you feel great, and do at least one thing on it every day. Big or small, it doesn't matter! Doing something that makes us feel amazing is an act of self-love – it's that simple! This small effort reduces stress levels and makes us feel capable and confident. Rather than waiting for other people or circumstances to make us feel good, practicing self-love is all about empowering ourselves to feel how we want to feel, all the time. 

Practicing gratitude is super supportive for our emotional wellness because it shifts our focus to the good in our lives, and trains us to look for the positives in every situation. It gives us appreciation for all that we have instead of getting caught up with what's lacking.

People know your name, not your story. They’ve heard what you’ve done, but don’t understand what you’ve been through. So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt. In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts. Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s right for you and your life, without giving a darn what your life looks like to everyone around you who doesn’t even know you.

In order to gain conscious control of what goes on in your mind, you need to develop a keen awareness for this process. What helps is to hold still for a moment, take a deep breath and free your mind of all the chatter that is going on inside. This makes room for a change of state, for something new to enter. So give yourself a break. Don’t say you can’t. Yes, you have battles out in the world to fight, insecurities to overcome, loved ones to contend with and goals to achieve, but a break from it all is necessary. It’s perfectly healthy to pause and let the world spin without you for a while. If you don’t, you will burn yourself out. So refill your bucket on a regular basis

There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them. So keep your hope alive through positive awareness. Don’t let the pain make you desperate. Don’t let the negativity wear off on you. Don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Spend your energy moving forward. Change your thoughts and you change your reality. Our thoughts are the makers of our moods, the inventors of our dreams, and the creators of our will. That’s why we must sort through them carefully, and choose to respond only to those that will help us build the life we want

Chuck Palahniuk once said, “The only way to find true happiness in life is to risk being completely cut open.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Anybody who is capable of living and loving is bound to get hurt at some point, but that’s a risk that’s well worth the reward. The result is a life filled with honesty and sincere love.

When we continue to repeat a story in our head, as all of us do, we eventually believe that story and embrace it – whether it empowers us or not. So the question is: Does your story empower you? Don’t place your past mishaps on your mind, their weight may crush your current potential. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view the horizon. Remember, all things are difficult before they are easy. What matters the most is what you start doing now.

Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Expand Your Comfort Zone

There are ways to expand your comfort zone gently. It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you complete the journey.

Start slowly. It’s the bigger changes that tend to stimulate feelings of discomfort. The thought of doing 50 pushups for the first time in five years is daunting. The thought of doing one isn’t a problem.

Create small changes and then increase those changes over time. This is a great way to keep discomfort at bay.

Eat something new. Most of us are a little hesitant to try a new food, but it’s a non-threatening way to stretch your comfort zone. Try a new restaurant or a new fruit from the grocery store.

Read something completely different than your usual fare. If you’re a man, a book on feminism might be just the ticket. Read something you would ordinarily never read.

Unplug for an entire day. Turn off your phone, the internet, and the television. This will be more uncomfortable than you think.

Sit in a different place. Sit on the couch instead of your favorite chair. Choose a different seat at the dining table.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger. It doesn’t have to be a twenty-minute affair. If you can maintain a conversation for 30 seconds, consider yourself successful. There are plenty of people in the world available for practice.

Ask your boss for a review. Tell your boss you’d like to sit down with him and review your performance. It might do wonders for your career and will stretch your comfort zone.

Apply for a new job that’s a step up from your current position. You might feel like a bit of an imposter, but that’s okay. Worst case? You might get the position and a new career. Your bank account might even benefit.

Call someone you haven’t spoken to for at least six months. Just pick up the phone and do it. You’ll feel great about it afterwards.

Travel out of the Country. If you’ve never travelled outside your home country, you might be in for quite a shock. The food, people, and culture can all be different. Apply for a passport and consider where you’d like to visit. 

Give yourself a thrill. Tackle something that makes you a little fearful. Go skydiving or ride a roller coaster. Give a speech. Take a dance class.

Sit by yourself in silence. This can be tougher than you think. Turn off all your devices and just sit alone with yourself. Avoid allowing yourself to daydream. Just stay with yourself for at least 30 minutes.

Expanding your comfort zone opens up numerous possibilities. Think about how your life would change if your comfort zone were larger. It’s possible to accomplish this without the pain you might imagine. Stretch your comfort zone a little each day.

Boost Your Childs Self Esteem !!!

Everything in life is better when your self-esteem is high. Good things seem even better. Bad things are easier to tolerate and manage. The same is true for your child. A child with high self-esteem will do better in Life. Low self-esteem is a burden regardless of age.

As a parent, you have a tremendous influence on your child’s self-esteem. Make good use of that influence!

Help your child develop their self-esteem:

Create opportunities for your child to be successful. Give your child a meaningful task to do that you know will result in success. Success breeds confidence and additional success. 

Give your child regular opportunities to experience success.

Create a Wall of Fame. This can be a place to put trophies, report cards, favorite art work, ribbons, badges, and other awards. How could anyone not feel pride and confidence when a wall of fame is there for viewing each day?

Monitor your children’s friends. Some friends are more kind than others. Try to steer your child toward other children that are kind and supportive. Find a way to limit time spent with those children that are less supportive.

Give your child some control. It’s easier to have self-esteem when you feel in control of your life. The easiest way to avoid a battle is to give your child choices, but you create the choices. “Do you want a banana, apple, or orange in your lunch today?” is a better question than, “What do you want to eat?”

Love your child Unconditionally. It’s a mistake to make a child feel less loved because of misbehavior or a mistake. Deal with poor behavior, but avoid withholding your love.

Teach that failure isn’t a big deal. It’s not something to get upset about or to avoid at all costs. It’s just a part of life. There’s always the opportunity to try again.

Give compliments and make them credible. Your child knows if his drawing of a horse actually looks like a pig. But you can find plenty of legitimate reasons to give your child compliments.

Set goals with your child and attain them together. The goal might be for your child to tie her own shoes or to get an A in his studies . Teach your child to work toward their goal each day.

Be confident. The more confident and comfortable you are in front of your child, the more secure they will feel. Your child is watching you for cues. If you’re obviously uncomfortable in certain situations, your child will be, too. Set a good example.

Address behavior, instead of your child. Saying that it’s wrong to lie is a better option than calling your child a liar. Avoid putting negative labels on your child.

Show love and affection regularly. Show your child that they are loved and appreciated every day.

It’s never too early to start boosting your child’s self-esteem. Providing a good foundation can prevent a lot of challenges in the teenage years. Act while your child is most impressionable. You can’t control every experience your child has, but you can control enough of them to make a huge difference.

Mistakes That Ruin Relationships

Relationships are challenging. Relationships also come with a lot of ego sensitivity. Even the most laid back individuals can get quite dramatic when it comes to relationship issues.

The prospect of rejection can make people do crazy things. There’s no doubt that relationships are sometimes very challenging to navigate.

Avoid the most common mistakes that Ruin Relationships:

Attempting to change the other person- If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or get yourself to do something you don’t want to do, you know how challenging it can be to change. It’s 10 times harder to change another person. Expect that your partner will never change. Assuming you can mould him into something you can live with is foolish.

Avoiding confrontation at all costs- Some things aren’t worth arguing about. The things that really bother you are worth addressing. Otherwise, how will the situation ever improve? You’re setting yourself up to be annoyed, hurt, or frustrated on a daily basis for the rest of your life. Hard talks are necessary from time to time.

Focusing on the Negative - Take a few minutes each day to appreciate the Positive things about your partner. You’ll find that you feel more positive about your partner. Interestingly, they haven’t changed. You have.

Failing to Communicate your Needs- Men don’t want to communicate. Many women think men should be able to read their minds. Neither is an effective way to manage a relationship. Take responsibility for your relationship and your happiness by communicating clearly.

Failing to Take Care of yourself - Men and women are both guilty of this. A relationship is no reason to stop going to the gym or to start wearing your pajayma bottoms to the store. As shallow as it may seem, part of the reason you fell in love with each other was based on your appearances. Take as much pride in your appearance today as you did in the past.

Failing to give your Partner Space - You have a life together. You also have separate lives. Allow each other the space to breathe. You don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7. 

An Intimate Relationship can add a lot of value to your life. However, that value doesn’t come cheaply. They can take up a lot of mental space and create negative emotions. Relationships are challenging, but many of those challenges can be prevented by avoiding the most common relationship mistakes.

If you’ve had relationship mishaps in the past, ensure that you’re not making any of these common mistakes. A few, small changes could make all the difference.

Faith Stabilizes Me- My Reflection !!

My faith is like a firm foundation. I feel grounded and secure.

My faith strengthens me. A loving heart makes me powerful. Challenges become opportunities for me to test my beliefs and become more resourceful. I know I can accomplish great things when I connect with the divine.

My faith guides me. My faith gives me comfort and support. Prayer and meditation slow down my thoughts. My mind becomes clear and peaceful. I recognize the abundance that surrounds me.

My faith moves me to action. My daily choices reflect my values.

I look for ways to serve others. I share constructive feedback with my co-workers, and volunteer for assignments that enable me to contribute to the team.

I treat myself with compassion and respect. I use my self-talk to reinforce my faith, and build myself up. I give myself credit for taking risks. I validate my feelings and challenge myself to keep learning and growing.

I take care of my body and mind. I eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. I manage stress and think positive.

Today, I rely upon my faith to make each experience more meaningful and enriching. I feel confident and brave. My faith centers me.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. How would I describe my personal faith?

2. What is one thing I can do to live my faith today?

3. How does my faith help me to endure difficult conditions?

Ways to Benefit from Criticism

Compliments are easy to take. Criticism isn’t quite as easy. But criticism can be invaluable to your long-term success. Criticism is nothing more than advice in disguise. You can choose to benefit from it or ignore it. However, not all criticism is accurate, well-intended, or beneficial.

Receive criticism and use it to your advantage:

1. Change your perspective. We naturally love to hear compliments and shy away from criticism. While compliments feel good, they don’t accomplish much else. Criticism can sting, but can ultimately be extremely helpful. Learn to appreciate criticism. You might even consider seeking out criticism as a tool for learning and self-development.

2. Determine if the criticism is constructive or destructive. Destructive criticism can be ignored. The other person is the issue when criticism is intended to cause harm. Constructive criticism has the potential to be helpful. Consider the source and the situation before deciding on the intention of the criticizer.

3. Swallow your pride. No one enjoys hearing about their shortcomings or errors. However, criticism can be a gift. Maybe you’re learning something that would have taken years to figure out on your own. Leave your ego at the door and listen. No one is perfect.

4. Take your time. There’s a tendency to responds quickly and negatively to criticism. You might have the right to be upset, but then again, you might not. Take the time to think about it before responding. If possible, sleep on it or take the weekend.

5. Be compassionate with yourself. Just because you may have done something the wrong way doesn’t mean you’re less valuable as a person. Give yourself a break. Handling criticism well is one way to show yourself that you really do stand above the crowd. 

Few people can take criticism well. You’ll have a big advantage over others if you can.

6. Consider the validity. When criticism comes from the right source, it’s likely to be helpful and true. Be objective and determine if there is truth to the criticism. Sometimes people are operating from false impressions. Not all criticism is valid. It’s up to you to determine if the criticism has any value.

7. Incorporate the information into your life. Now you know that you can be impatient, a complete pleaser, distant, or that you’re a bad driver. Make a plan to address this issue if it’s important to you. Remember that if a trusted source was willing to bring it up, it might be important. Give it the attention it deserves.

8. Determine that you’re going to do better next time. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to put your new knowledge to the test. Bide your time until that opportunity arrives. This attitude can do wonders for your self-esteem and feeling a sense of control over your life. Just keep trying to improve. There’s always tomorrow to try again.

9. Be thankful. It’s not easy to give constructive criticism to a friend, employee, or family member. Be thankful that someone was willing to do that for you.

You can choose to get angry or become thoughtful when criticism comes your way. Some criticism is only intended to be hurtful and should be ignored. Constructive criticism from a trusted source can be a great learning opportunity. Consider whether the criticism is accurate and valid before applying it.

Be grateful for the constructive criticism you receive. It wasn’t easy on the person providing it too.

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Feeling Lost / Not Ok/ Confused - Share your Feelings !!!

There are some people that have no trouble sharing their feelings. They are devoid of the fear and anxiety that most of us feel about sharing something personal or potentially controversial. Openness provides a level of freedom that eludes those that are more private. It’s important to be able to share your feelings and concerns openly.

Your concerns can’t be addressed if you’re unwilling to share them. You have to face your challenges alone if you keep them to yourself. 

Share your feelings and enjoy the resulting freedom it provides:

1. Be more accepting of others. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you’re afraid to share your feelings, you may be judgmental of others. Naturally, you would expect others to judge you, too. It’s impossible to accurately judge others. There’s always more going on than you realize. Be accepting of others and you’ll expect others to be accepting of you. 

2. Start small. Share something small, but relevant. Once you see that you can share your feelings without negative repercussions, you’ll be more likely to share them again. 

3. Determine the source of your fear. You may fear judging, rejection, ridicule, or embarrassment. Perhaps attacking that fear is the first logical step to lessening your anxiety around sharing and openness. 

4. Be brave. There’s no way to be 100% comfortable about sharing your feelings until you’ve done it several times. There’s a certain amount of courage required at the beginning. Be brave enough to share your feelings. It becomes easier over time. 

5. Encourage others to share their feelings with you. You might feel more comfortable if your conversation partner goes first. 

6. Stay in the present moment. You generate feelings of fear by worrying about the possible outcomes. Stay in the moment, and your fear will dissipate. Avoid imagining the worst possible outcome. 

7. Calibrate the other person. Others are often careless when they believe something doesn’t matter. You’ll find that others are more empathetic and understanding if you let them know that something is important to you. 

It can be as simple as, “I want to tell you about something that’s important to me.” Put others in the proper state of mind before you share. 

8. Be honest. The willingness to make yourself vulnerable will enhance your results. If you’re sharing something that displeases you about the other person, it’s important to empathize first. Sharing your feelings requires consideration of the other person’s feelings, too. 

9. Take a deep breath and just do it. The anticipation is usually worse than the actual event. Sometimes, you just have to go for it. You can do it. Focus on how much better you’ll feel afterwards.

Change isn’t easy. 

Sharing can be scary, but the benefits outweigh the anxiety experienced. 

In time, you’ll learn to share your feelings more easily. It just takes practice. Focus on the benefits you’ll receive and let the words flow. The other person will appreciate your effort and you’ll find that you get what you want more often.