Expand Your Comfort Zone

There are ways to expand your comfort zone gently. It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you complete the journey.

Start slowly. It’s the bigger changes that tend to stimulate feelings of discomfort. The thought of doing 50 pushups for the first time in five years is daunting. The thought of doing one isn’t a problem.

Create small changes and then increase those changes over time. This is a great way to keep discomfort at bay.

Eat something new. Most of us are a little hesitant to try a new food, but it’s a non-threatening way to stretch your comfort zone. Try a new restaurant or a new fruit from the grocery store.

Read something completely different than your usual fare. If you’re a man, a book on feminism might be just the ticket. Read something you would ordinarily never read.

Unplug for an entire day. Turn off your phone, the internet, and the television. This will be more uncomfortable than you think.

Sit in a different place. Sit on the couch instead of your favorite chair. Choose a different seat at the dining table.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger. It doesn’t have to be a twenty-minute affair. If you can maintain a conversation for 30 seconds, consider yourself successful. There are plenty of people in the world available for practice.

Ask your boss for a review. Tell your boss you’d like to sit down with him and review your performance. It might do wonders for your career and will stretch your comfort zone.

Apply for a new job that’s a step up from your current position. You might feel like a bit of an imposter, but that’s okay. Worst case? You might get the position and a new career. Your bank account might even benefit.

Call someone you haven’t spoken to for at least six months. Just pick up the phone and do it. You’ll feel great about it afterwards.

Travel out of the Country. If you’ve never travelled outside your home country, you might be in for quite a shock. The food, people, and culture can all be different. Apply for a passport and consider where you’d like to visit. 

Give yourself a thrill. Tackle something that makes you a little fearful. Go skydiving or ride a roller coaster. Give a speech. Take a dance class.

Sit by yourself in silence. This can be tougher than you think. Turn off all your devices and just sit alone with yourself. Avoid allowing yourself to daydream. Just stay with yourself for at least 30 minutes.

Expanding your comfort zone opens up numerous possibilities. Think about how your life would change if your comfort zone were larger. It’s possible to accomplish this without the pain you might imagine. Stretch your comfort zone a little each day.

Boost Your Childs Self Esteem !!!

Everything in life is better when your self-esteem is high. Good things seem even better. Bad things are easier to tolerate and manage. The same is true for your child. A child with high self-esteem will do better in Life. Low self-esteem is a burden regardless of age.

As a parent, you have a tremendous influence on your child’s self-esteem. Make good use of that influence!

Help your child develop their self-esteem:

Create opportunities for your child to be successful. Give your child a meaningful task to do that you know will result in success. Success breeds confidence and additional success. 

Give your child regular opportunities to experience success.

Create a Wall of Fame. This can be a place to put trophies, report cards, favorite art work, ribbons, badges, and other awards. How could anyone not feel pride and confidence when a wall of fame is there for viewing each day?

Monitor your children’s friends. Some friends are more kind than others. Try to steer your child toward other children that are kind and supportive. Find a way to limit time spent with those children that are less supportive.

Give your child some control. It’s easier to have self-esteem when you feel in control of your life. The easiest way to avoid a battle is to give your child choices, but you create the choices. “Do you want a banana, apple, or orange in your lunch today?” is a better question than, “What do you want to eat?”

Love your child Unconditionally. It’s a mistake to make a child feel less loved because of misbehavior or a mistake. Deal with poor behavior, but avoid withholding your love.

Teach that failure isn’t a big deal. It’s not something to get upset about or to avoid at all costs. It’s just a part of life. There’s always the opportunity to try again.

Give compliments and make them credible. Your child knows if his drawing of a horse actually looks like a pig. But you can find plenty of legitimate reasons to give your child compliments.

Set goals with your child and attain them together. The goal might be for your child to tie her own shoes or to get an A in his studies . Teach your child to work toward their goal each day.

Be confident. The more confident and comfortable you are in front of your child, the more secure they will feel. Your child is watching you for cues. If you’re obviously uncomfortable in certain situations, your child will be, too. Set a good example.

Address behavior, instead of your child. Saying that it’s wrong to lie is a better option than calling your child a liar. Avoid putting negative labels on your child.

Show love and affection regularly. Show your child that they are loved and appreciated every day.

It’s never too early to start boosting your child’s self-esteem. Providing a good foundation can prevent a lot of challenges in the teenage years. Act while your child is most impressionable. You can’t control every experience your child has, but you can control enough of them to make a huge difference.

Mistakes That Ruin Relationships

Relationships are challenging. Relationships also come with a lot of ego sensitivity. Even the most laid back individuals can get quite dramatic when it comes to relationship issues.

The prospect of rejection can make people do crazy things. There’s no doubt that relationships are sometimes very challenging to navigate.

Avoid the most common mistakes that Ruin Relationships:

Attempting to change the other person- If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or get yourself to do something you don’t want to do, you know how challenging it can be to change. It’s 10 times harder to change another person. Expect that your partner will never change. Assuming you can mould him into something you can live with is foolish.

Avoiding confrontation at all costs- Some things aren’t worth arguing about. The things that really bother you are worth addressing. Otherwise, how will the situation ever improve? You’re setting yourself up to be annoyed, hurt, or frustrated on a daily basis for the rest of your life. Hard talks are necessary from time to time.

Focusing on the Negative - Take a few minutes each day to appreciate the Positive things about your partner. You’ll find that you feel more positive about your partner. Interestingly, they haven’t changed. You have.

Failing to Communicate your Needs- Men don’t want to communicate. Many women think men should be able to read their minds. Neither is an effective way to manage a relationship. Take responsibility for your relationship and your happiness by communicating clearly.

Failing to Take Care of yourself - Men and women are both guilty of this. A relationship is no reason to stop going to the gym or to start wearing your pajayma bottoms to the store. As shallow as it may seem, part of the reason you fell in love with each other was based on your appearances. Take as much pride in your appearance today as you did in the past.

Failing to give your Partner Space - You have a life together. You also have separate lives. Allow each other the space to breathe. You don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7. 

An Intimate Relationship can add a lot of value to your life. However, that value doesn’t come cheaply. They can take up a lot of mental space and create negative emotions. Relationships are challenging, but many of those challenges can be prevented by avoiding the most common relationship mistakes.

If you’ve had relationship mishaps in the past, ensure that you’re not making any of these common mistakes. A few, small changes could make all the difference.

Faith Stabilizes Me- My Reflection !!

My faith is like a firm foundation. I feel grounded and secure.

My faith strengthens me. A loving heart makes me powerful. Challenges become opportunities for me to test my beliefs and become more resourceful. I know I can accomplish great things when I connect with the divine.

My faith guides me. My faith gives me comfort and support. Prayer and meditation slow down my thoughts. My mind becomes clear and peaceful. I recognize the abundance that surrounds me.

My faith moves me to action. My daily choices reflect my values.

I look for ways to serve others. I share constructive feedback with my co-workers, and volunteer for assignments that enable me to contribute to the team.

I treat myself with compassion and respect. I use my self-talk to reinforce my faith, and build myself up. I give myself credit for taking risks. I validate my feelings and challenge myself to keep learning and growing.

I take care of my body and mind. I eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. I manage stress and think positive.

Today, I rely upon my faith to make each experience more meaningful and enriching. I feel confident and brave. My faith centers me.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. How would I describe my personal faith?

2. What is one thing I can do to live my faith today?

3. How does my faith help me to endure difficult conditions?

Ways to Benefit from Criticism

Compliments are easy to take. Criticism isn’t quite as easy. But criticism can be invaluable to your long-term success. Criticism is nothing more than advice in disguise. You can choose to benefit from it or ignore it. However, not all criticism is accurate, well-intended, or beneficial.

Receive criticism and use it to your advantage:

1. Change your perspective. We naturally love to hear compliments and shy away from criticism. While compliments feel good, they don’t accomplish much else. Criticism can sting, but can ultimately be extremely helpful. Learn to appreciate criticism. You might even consider seeking out criticism as a tool for learning and self-development.

2. Determine if the criticism is constructive or destructive. Destructive criticism can be ignored. The other person is the issue when criticism is intended to cause harm. Constructive criticism has the potential to be helpful. Consider the source and the situation before deciding on the intention of the criticizer.

3. Swallow your pride. No one enjoys hearing about their shortcomings or errors. However, criticism can be a gift. Maybe you’re learning something that would have taken years to figure out on your own. Leave your ego at the door and listen. No one is perfect.

4. Take your time. There’s a tendency to responds quickly and negatively to criticism. You might have the right to be upset, but then again, you might not. Take the time to think about it before responding. If possible, sleep on it or take the weekend.

5. Be compassionate with yourself. Just because you may have done something the wrong way doesn’t mean you’re less valuable as a person. Give yourself a break. Handling criticism well is one way to show yourself that you really do stand above the crowd. 

Few people can take criticism well. You’ll have a big advantage over others if you can.

6. Consider the validity. When criticism comes from the right source, it’s likely to be helpful and true. Be objective and determine if there is truth to the criticism. Sometimes people are operating from false impressions. Not all criticism is valid. It’s up to you to determine if the criticism has any value.

7. Incorporate the information into your life. Now you know that you can be impatient, a complete pleaser, distant, or that you’re a bad driver. Make a plan to address this issue if it’s important to you. Remember that if a trusted source was willing to bring it up, it might be important. Give it the attention it deserves.

8. Determine that you’re going to do better next time. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to put your new knowledge to the test. Bide your time until that opportunity arrives. This attitude can do wonders for your self-esteem and feeling a sense of control over your life. Just keep trying to improve. There’s always tomorrow to try again.

9. Be thankful. It’s not easy to give constructive criticism to a friend, employee, or family member. Be thankful that someone was willing to do that for you.

You can choose to get angry or become thoughtful when criticism comes your way. Some criticism is only intended to be hurtful and should be ignored. Constructive criticism from a trusted source can be a great learning opportunity. Consider whether the criticism is accurate and valid before applying it.

Be grateful for the constructive criticism you receive. It wasn’t easy on the person providing it too.

--> -->

Feeling Lost / Not Ok/ Confused - Share your Feelings !!!

There are some people that have no trouble sharing their feelings. They are devoid of the fear and anxiety that most of us feel about sharing something personal or potentially controversial. Openness provides a level of freedom that eludes those that are more private. It’s important to be able to share your feelings and concerns openly.

Your concerns can’t be addressed if you’re unwilling to share them. You have to face your challenges alone if you keep them to yourself. 

Share your feelings and enjoy the resulting freedom it provides:

1. Be more accepting of others. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you’re afraid to share your feelings, you may be judgmental of others. Naturally, you would expect others to judge you, too. It’s impossible to accurately judge others. There’s always more going on than you realize. Be accepting of others and you’ll expect others to be accepting of you. 

2. Start small. Share something small, but relevant. Once you see that you can share your feelings without negative repercussions, you’ll be more likely to share them again. 

3. Determine the source of your fear. You may fear judging, rejection, ridicule, or embarrassment. Perhaps attacking that fear is the first logical step to lessening your anxiety around sharing and openness. 

4. Be brave. There’s no way to be 100% comfortable about sharing your feelings until you’ve done it several times. There’s a certain amount of courage required at the beginning. Be brave enough to share your feelings. It becomes easier over time. 

5. Encourage others to share their feelings with you. You might feel more comfortable if your conversation partner goes first. 

6. Stay in the present moment. You generate feelings of fear by worrying about the possible outcomes. Stay in the moment, and your fear will dissipate. Avoid imagining the worst possible outcome. 

7. Calibrate the other person. Others are often careless when they believe something doesn’t matter. You’ll find that others are more empathetic and understanding if you let them know that something is important to you. 

It can be as simple as, “I want to tell you about something that’s important to me.” Put others in the proper state of mind before you share. 

8. Be honest. The willingness to make yourself vulnerable will enhance your results. If you’re sharing something that displeases you about the other person, it’s important to empathize first. Sharing your feelings requires consideration of the other person’s feelings, too. 

9. Take a deep breath and just do it. The anticipation is usually worse than the actual event. Sometimes, you just have to go for it. You can do it. Focus on how much better you’ll feel afterwards.

Change isn’t easy. 

Sharing can be scary, but the benefits outweigh the anxiety experienced. 

In time, you’ll learn to share your feelings more easily. It just takes practice. Focus on the benefits you’ll receive and let the words flow. The other person will appreciate your effort and you’ll find that you get what you want more often.

Tips for Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety is part of the human condition. Try to find someone that never feels anxious. Some people are more resistant to anxiety than others, but everyone can strengthen their ability to manage anxious feelings. Developing a high level of anxiety is a skill. Lowering anxiety is a skill, too.

The key to managing anxiety is to begin minimizing it as soon as possible after it hits you. The more it builds, the more challenging it is to control.

Deal with anxiety quickly and easily:

1. Break your day into small chunks. Only worry about the small amount of time in front of you. If you’re sitting in a meeting at 9:00 AM, there’s no reason to worry about how you’re going to pay the electric bill or what you’re going to have for dinner. Take the day one minute at time and keep your attention on that minute.

2. Create a mantra and use it. Have a positive and uplifting phrase you repeat to yourself. You’ll eventually start to believe it and you’ll block any negative self-talk.

“I’m happy and capable of handling any situation.”

“My life is filled with joy and positive energy.”

3. Exercise. The quickest way to relieve anxiety is to exercise enough to sweat. A casual walk is better than nothing, but to get the greatest benefit, it’s necessary to get your heart beating hard.

4. Make use of distractions. Distractions never solve the underlying issue, but can provide relief. Watch a movie, play cards, or do a crossword. Spend time with a close friend. Give yourself a break and put your focus elsewhere.

5. Keep going. Anxiety occurs because some part of your brain is trying to stop you from taking action. It has learned that it can control you by making you feel miserable. You can minimize the anxiety you feel by plowing ahead. Your brain will learn that making you feel anxious doesn’t work.

6. Give yourself 20 minutes to worry each day. Schedule your worry time. You’ll find yourself less inclined to worry during the other 23-plus hours of the day.

7. Change your environment. Get out of your current environment and give yourself a change of scenery. Go to the park or spend some time at the coffee shop. Spend an hour window shopping. Shake things up a bit.

8. Spend time with your pet/ others pet . If you have a dog, you already know how comforting they can be. Sit on the floor and have a heart-to-heart with your favorite pet. How could you not feel better?

9. Write in a journal. Get your anxiety out of your head and down on paper. There’s something cathartic about writing when you’re stressed. Make a habit of writing about your life each day.

10. Find the right scent. The right scent can be soothing. Take a trip to the candle store and find something that makes you feel good when you smell it.

11. Find a hobby that requires concentration. It could be chess, playing the piano, or knitting. It doesn’t matter what the hobby is as long as you enjoy it and it commands your complete attention. It can be a great way to spend your down time.

12. Visualize. Visualize something positive. Daydream about Maui or remember a positive experience from the past. Imagine your perfect day.

Dealing with anxiety is important. Successful people are successful due to their ability to manage anxiety successfully. When you feel worry begin to build, deal with it immediately. A high level of anxiety is very challenging to manage. Develop a list of strategies that can be implemented quickly when anxiety first appears.

-->

Create an Amazing life that's Meaningful and Exciting !!!

It's unlikely that an amazing life just happens by chance. It's necessary to spend your time, energy, and focus in an intentional manner. Too many distractions, less important goals, and a shortage of resources can get in the way of living an amazing life. The lack of a clear objective is the greatest obstacle. These are challenges that can be solved with a little effort.

Create an amazing life that's meaningful and exciting to you:

1. Remove what isn't necessary. Too many responsibilities and distractions are obstacles to an amazing life. Get rid of anything that takes up time or space and doesn't provide a worthwhile return. It should be important to you if you choose to include it in your life.

2. Decide on your priorities. You might not be able to walk on Mars, climb K2, become a movie director. However, you can accomplish some pretty amazing things over the course of a lifetime. 

It's important to narrow your focus to a few priorities. What's the most important thing to accomplish or experience? Keep your list short.

3. Stock up on the necessities. Creating an amazing life requires courage. The more your risk, the more courage you require. But imagine if you had plenty of money, time, energy, and support. You'd need much less courage to chase after that amazing life. Fear will have much less influence over your life. Start building reserves in the key areas of your life.

4. Remove the distractions from your life. It might be the television, the casual friend you've been half-heartedly carrying around for 7 years, or the goals that only interest you moderately.

5. Deal with negative thoughts. Big goals and ideas stir up negative thoughts and emotions. Failing to deal with these can cause big challenges down the road. Be committed to expecting the best, finding solutions, and staying positive. Negativity takes the wind out of your sails and fuels procrastination.

6. Spend your time wisely. There are multiple ways to accomplish any task. Avoid taking the easy path. The easy way is often the long way. Life is short, so choose the shortest path to your amazing life. This is often the most uncomfortable path, but you can handle it.

7. Get started. The first step is often the hardest. You have everything you need to take a meaningful first step. Avoid waiting for some future event to occur. You can do it today, even if you have kids, a limited income, or limited knowledge. Just get started.

8. It's not that difficult. There's really much less competition in the world than you think. Look at how much time the average person wastes at work and at home. Most people fail to prioritize their time. Most people don't have goals. Most people have too many distractions.

* When you choose the direction of your life and eliminate distractions, the road is relatively easy.

Is your life less than amazing? It doesn't have to be. Setting priorities and removing distractions are the keys to creating an amazing life. Use your time wisely. There's still time to live the life you've always dreamed of, but it's important to get started today.

Steps to Beat Laziness

Everyone feels a little lazy at times. But being lazy on a regular basis can have a severe negative impact on your life. Laziness is a natural tendency. All creatures gravitate toward comfort, or at least what’s perceived to be comfortable. However, laziness is indulging in short-term comfort at the expense of long-term pain.

Do you know anyone with a great life that’s lazy? Over time, the law of cause and effect holds true. Laziness has a long-term price.

Beat laziness and accomplish more:

1. Find a way to get excited. Consider the benefits you’ll receive by getting it done. It might be the end result that excites you or the fact that you’re learning and growing. Maybe demonstrating self-control and discipline is something that you can get excited about. It’s much harder to accomplish something if you’re complaining about it.

2. Set a deadline. When you have plenty of time to complete something, or no deadline at all, it’s human nature to procrastinate. Setting a deadline in the near future can help to focus your attention and energy.

3. Create smaller tasks from the main task. Every large task can be done in steps. Even building a house has steps. First the site must be prepared. Then the foundation is created, and the framing begins. The remaining steps are followed until the house is completed. 

The overall project might be big and intimidating. However, the individual tasks might be easier to handle.

4. Focus on taking the first step. Once you get started, the momentum you’ve created can carry you far. Activity breeds further activity. Sitting on the couch tends to lead to more sitting. Instead of worrying about the mountain of work ahead of you, focus on getting one simple task completed.

5. Read or listen to something that motivates you. It can be something as simple as a book of inspiring quotes or a song that energizes you. You already know what inspires you. Use it to your advantage.

6. Consider the pain of not getting started. We’re good at imagining the pain of getting started, but try the opposite. What will happen if you continue to be lazy? What will it cost you in the future? What has it cost you so far? Instead of using pain as a reason to be lazy, use pain to create action.

7. Remind yourself that the last few years have flown by. Laziness is often a chronic condition. A lot of time has passed in the last 5 years, but how much have you accomplished? Five years goes by quickly, especially when one day seems to be a copy of every other day. Life is wasting away. Get up and do something!

8. Reward yourself for activity. Get one thing done and celebrate. You probably haven’t done enough to deserve a new car, but you have the right to get excited and be proud of yourself.

9. Be patient. It’s common to believe that action comes from motivation, but the opposite may be more true. Action leads to results. Results lead to motivation. Be mentally tough and get busy. You’ll have a reason to be motivated soon enough.

Avoid allowing laziness to keep you on the sideline. It will steal your time and limit your results!