Why is Change so Challenging?

Over 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned within a week. If change were easy, we’d all be wealthy, fit, and happy. It’s frustrating when you know what you want to do, but you can’t get yourself to do it consistently. If the new behavior would obviously be of benefit, why isn’t that change easy to make?

Change is challenging for several reasons:

1. Habits are strong and pervasive. The average person has far more habits than they realize. Each morning, you wake up and follow the same routine. You take the same path to work. You think the same thoughts as you did the day before. Much of your day and night is a repeat of the last 500.

· When you feel bored, you soothe yourself in the same 2-3 ways each time. You only eat a few foods regularly. You talk to the same people. 

· Habits avoid thinking. They’re done automatically. Anything that minimizes thinking seems to be your brain’s preference. The fewer decisions, the better. 

· To change, you must be certain that change is in your best interest. Otherwise, your habits will always win.

2. Change is hard because it’s uncomfortable. You already know how to lose 10 kgs or how to find a better job. But the thought of taking the actions necessary to accomplish those goals creates discomfort. 

3. What you’re doing is already working, sort of. Your brain is preoccupied with your survival. Our brains are programmed to resist change, because what you’re doing is allowing you to live. Any change could potentially lead to death. You might be unhappy today, but you’re still alive!

· Most of us prefer misery than facing uncertainty.

4. You’ve tried to change in the past and failed. You’re no dummy. If you’ve tried to change several times and failed, part of you says, “Obviously, I can’t change. What’s the use in trying?”

It isn’t easy to change, but change is possible. The primary issue keeping you from following through on your plan to change is attempting to change too much, too soon. Smaller changes are easier to accomplish and to maintain.

How You Can Change?

Change is possible with an effective approach:

1. Be prepared to change. Expect that change will be challenging. Your odds of success improve if you’re prepared. Have a plan. 

2. Start small. To minimize the discomfort that change creates, only change a little each week. Meditating for two minutes each day is easier than starting with 60 minutes. The key is to get in the habit of doing the new behavior each day. 

3. Have patience. It can take months to make a change permanent. It’s often quoted that a new habit requires 30 days to instill. That’s not true. Studies show that it can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months, depending on the habit and the person. 

4. Be willing to change yourself and face the consequences. Changing yourself is scary, because you don’t know what the results will be. Accept that your life will change in some way. Discomfort isn’t always a bad thing. 

5. Expect to relapse. Falling off the wagon is to be expected. Attempt to enhance your approach and keep going. Aim for 90% compliance. That’s all you need. Perfection is an illusion that will only serve to destroy your confidence.

Change requires patience with yourself. Understand why it’s so challenging to change and choose to make changes slowly and incrementally. Imagine how much you could change over a few years if you changed just a tiny amount each week. 

The results would be staggering! How much have you changed over the last few years? Give slow change a chance.

When Life Gets Rough !!

Each of us have dealt with several hardships, each of them have knocked us down for  while, but then we got stronger and moved stronger with greater love, respect and understanding towards self and life.

The secret to get through the hard times easily is with our Mindset :

These hard times are making you Stronger and Smarter. – It’s the scary, stressful choices that end up being the most worthwhile. Without pain, there would be no change. But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released.

You are not a helpless victim. – You are the creator of your own experience. Yes, it is unfortunate that sometimes bad things happen to the best of people. Life can be unfair, unkind and unjust. However, being stuck in a victim mentality does not nurture your ability to move onward and upward. You’ve got to stand back up and take positive steps to heal and grow.

If you don’t get something you want, it just means something better is waiting. – This is hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Oftentimes, when you look back at your life you will be able to see why it was actually good that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens for a reason. 

Things can and will change. – “And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, it may seem there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But, remember, you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.

If you want things to change now, you need to start by Changing Yourself. – Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Do you know people whose lives are unnecessarily chaotic and stressful? And isn’t their situation largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is.We like to think that changing our external circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards – we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will begin to change.

Anything is possible going forward. – Miracles happen every day. Really, they do! I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know – from healing stage 4 pancreatic cancer to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere in the most unlikely place. Trust me: it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you’re halfway there.

And of course, if you're struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track. 

Life Secrets We were Not Taught in School

High school is good preparation for college. And college can be a good preparation for finding a job. Yet neither is very good at preparing you for general success in life. 

The most important ideas and skills for successful living aren’t taught in school. Unless you have an appropriate mentor, this critical part of your education is your responsibility.

Consider these secrets to living a successful and enjoyable life:

1. Persistence is the ultimate power. The ability to persevere can overcome almost any obstacle. The Key of persistence will open up any door that has closed due by resistance.
2. You can’t control other people. With practice, you can learn to control yourself. When you appreciate how challenging it is to control yourself, you’ll realize how futile it is to attempt to control others. Invite people into your life that you don’t feel the need to change, and everything will go more smoothly.
3. The best investment is the investment you make in yourself. Spend money to enhance your skills and abilities. 
4. Failing is an essential part of success. Those that ultimately succeed are those that failed the most. Fail quickly, learn, adjust your process, and have another go at it.
5. It’s important to forgive easily. When you forgive others, you set yourself free. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean you give the other person a second chance. It means that you’re choosing not to suffer any longer.
6. Most of the things you worry about will never happen. We’re all experts at creating imaginary challenges. We worry and expect the worst. Take a few moments and think about the biggest worries you’ve had. Most of them never happened. There’s plenty of time to get upset after something negative actually happens. Avoid feeling bad before it’s justified.
7. You only need a couple of good friends. Good friends are hard to find. Those people that you believe have 20 close friends do not. Focus on making quality relationships. You don’t have enough time to take care of more than a couple of close friends anyway.
8. Find a partner that fits into your life, rather than trying to build a life around your partner. 
9. Build a life you love and then find someone that fits into your lifestyle. There are more people you could happily spend a lifetime with than you think.
10. Find your purpose. Imagine having everything you want in life, but spending 8+ hours each day at a job you despise. You’ll spend a lot of time at work. Ensure that you find something you enjoy.
11. Stay in shape. Even the 3-sport high school athlete can eventually reach 300 pounds. It’s much easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. Develop an exercise routine and diet plan you can follow for a lifetime.

It’s possible to do well in school and still struggle with life. However, life is easier than you think once you understand these secrets we were never taught in school.